home sweet home

Leaving India was one of the most surreal experiences ever. Having my last dinner of butter chicken and naan, driving through the city in my friend's car, getting dropped off at the airport, checking my bags in, having my last chai while waiting, boarding my airplane, looking out the window as the plane took off and flew over delhi. Delhi looked so different from up in the plane. I was finally finally heading back home to malaysia to visit my family for 2 weeks.

Stepping off the airplane, walking through the gates and seeing my lil sister Jean waiting for me was one of those cliche happy moments that happen in slow-motion in movies. It feels so good to be back in Malaysia. To be among my family again. To reunite with my high school and community college friends.

For the next two weeks, I won't need to worry about water shortages, electricity cuts, traveling by bus or autos, being cautious when walking around town by myself, and all those simple things we take for granted in life. I have a proper bed to sleep in, not one made out of wood planks nailed together with a lumpy thin mattress. I have a proper bathroom that is clean and toilet paper at my disposal to use. I have air-conditioning to keep the temperature down in my house. I have a washing machine to properly wash my clothes. I have a fridge to store foods.

I live in such luxury at home :)

saying good-bye

It is hard to believe that tomorrow I will be saying my sayonaras to a country that I have grown to love and truly appreciate. After spending almost 3 months here, I will miss...
... sharing laughs and tears with my fellow aiesec trainees
... sipping on the hot masala chais with crushed cardamons
... my crazy bus rides to and from work during Delhi rush-hour traffic
... the Indian head wave/nod of agreement or disagreement and knowing how to distinguish the two
... eating naan and butter chicken with my hands
... the feeling of liberation during my weekend travel escapades
... the bright colors of women's sarees and salwar-kameez
... bargain shopping in the markets
... eating fresh juicy mangoes
... riding on bicycle-rickshaws'
... dancing to Hindi hip-hop songs
... my HIV/AIDS care home Ashraya

My stay here has been so dynamic and life-changing, I could not have ask for a better adventure!

some Tibetan action

My last weekend trip to Dharamsala and McLeod Ganj was quite an adventure. It started off with a crazy search for the right bus to Dharamsala from the Bus Station in Delhi. With Tuesday being Independence Day, everybody was returning home for a long weekend and the place was just packed with people. My Maltese friend Nicky and I finally managed to find a government bus to Dharamsala and purchase tickets. However, 3 hours into the bus ride, our bus got a flat tire. Sitting on the side of the road in the humidity, we watched as ten Indian men tried to change the tire together. We waited for 3 hours as they got the tire removed, sent an bicycle rickshaw to get a new tire, and put the new tire back on. It's what I call "Indian time". Then finally 12 hours later we arrived in Dharamsala after a pretty uncomfortable bumpy bus ride. I think our bus was not destined for a smooth journey there, because upon almost reaching Dharamsala, our bus had to stop in the middle of the road as lots of steam was coming out from the front, and some sort of liquid was dripping out of the bus. All of us rushed as fast as we could out of the bus, frightened for our lives that it would explode on us. We were fortunate there was no explosion. We then took a mini-bus up to McLeod Ganj, which was higher up on the mountains.

In McLeod Ganj, we had a great time during the few days. We met some of the randomnest people:
- two Tibetan stoners who wanted to sell us their "goods"
- a Laguna Beach guy, a recent film graduate from UC Berkeley trying to "find himself" in India
- a yoga master who remedied me on my cough and sore throat - a Sikh palm-reader who grew up in South Africa and had returned to India to find his "true love" because according to his palm, he would find her by March of next year
- a drunk Mongolian-American who threatened Nicky that if he hurt me, he'd throw Nicky into the valley because apparently "us Americans stick together" (even though I'm not even really American..haha)
- two college juniors from Minnesota, who I met in Shimla and who ended also coincidentally took the same bus to Dharamsala and back to Delhi with us
- a 50-year old German who will be spending the rest of his life traveling India and the rest of South-east Asia
- a young Japanese engineer from Tokyo who was excited to find somebody to converse in Japanese with

We were also fortunate that the Dalai Lama returned to his home in McLeod Ganj for the week, and we were able to attend one of his teachings. It was really amazing to see him with my own eyes and listen to his teachings. I'll never forget this experience. It is really interesting to learn more about how in 1959 the Dalai Lama led small entourage to India after trekking for weeks across the Himalayas, after the Chinese invasion of Tibet. Since then, some 250,000 Tibetans followed in his footsteps, settling in Dharamsala, McLeod Ganj and other mountain communities.

The rest of the time, we explored McLeod Ganj with all its Tibetan monks and community, browsed wall-to-wall shops selling Tibetan souvenirs, and hung out in cafes meeting and talking to random friendly people. We also trekked to the nearby village Bangsu where there was a beautiful waterfall up in the mountains.

Just being in McLeod Ganj up in the mountains, away from honking traffic and hassling men, was really relaxing. The atmosphere there was really laid-back and enjoyable, and I hope to return someday.

wrapping it up!

Today is my last day of work, well "officially". The past week at work has been crazy, hectic, busy and stressful. I completed my boss' speech and powerpoint presentation to her perfection. It was a real tough job- the overtime, long hours and editing bits and pieces here and there. In the end, I think the speech and powerpoint are ready to go. She leaves tonight for the 2006 International AIDS Conference in Toronto, and I hope she will deliver it well.

As I have been spending so much time focusing on her speech and presentation, I've had to put aside my report on all my patient case studies and research findings. I don't leave for another week, so I will have to finish it and turn it in. This evening I will leave to travel to Dharamsala and McLeod Ganj for a few days, where I will attend a teaching session of the Dalai Lama. I return to Delhi on India's Independence Day, hopefully in time to enjoy the parade by the Red Fort. Then I will visit my care home one last time, finish my report, do some last-minute shopping and visit, meet up with my friends for the last time and say good-bye to Delhi. It is hard to believe the time has come to actually pack up my bags and leave!

if you've got the dough...

In India, if you have the money, you can buy "services". What do I mean by that? Well, many middle-class and upper-class families, hire people to be their maids, servants, cooks, drivers and guards. This is no different than in Malaysia actually, particularly in Kuala Lumpur. However, my parents did not believe in having servants while I was growing up. My siblings and I had to learn from very young how to clean the house, cook and basically do everything ourselves.

I watch how the children of these well-to-do families never have to lift a finger to do anything. All their meals are prepared and served to them on their beds (yes they eat on their beds here in India most of the time I have found as the rooms are air-conditioned). A glass of water, tea, coffee, nimbu paani (lemonade) or whatever drink they desire, will be served to them at their request. Their room door will be closed or opened for them, if they order so from their bed. Their bedrooms are spotlessly cleaned the minute they leave the room or house. Yes, they never have to make their own bed or clean their own toilet. All their laundry are washed for them and ironed (even t-shirts get ironed!). They get driven wherever they want, whenever they want, in a nice airconditioned car. If they leave for a trip, their suitcase will be packed for them. I can go on and on and list everything done for them, but I think you get the idea by now.

I asked a friend, who is the same age as me, who enjoys these daily privileges, "Do you ever feel sorry for your maids and servants? Do you feel like they are overworked?"

To which she replied, "No I don't. Because they get to live here in a very clean nice place and eat proper food. The conditions here in my house are so much better than in their village where they come from. And they're not working all the time either."

Her maids live down in the basement in the maids/servant quarters, and they work from about 7am til 11pm daily I believe. Her cook, whom I like talking to and watching how she cooks Indian food, has a 10 year old son who can't even live with her because she works such long hours. Instead her son has to live with her brother's family, and she can only send him money. Poor woman. It is indeed a tough job to be in her situation.

This lifestyle is embedded into the Indian culture. It has been interesting to watch first-hand for myself what it is like to grow up as a privileged Indian here. All I can say is that I am looking forward to returning to my own apartment in good old Ann Arbor, where I can shop and cook for myself, do my own laundry with a washer and dryer (yes, im excited for that, a summer without them will do that to you), decorating and cleaning my own place, and basically just leading my own fun independent life. :)

Rakhi: the thread of love

Today is the Festival of Rakhi, an Indian festival that celebrates the relationships between brothers and sisters. The sisters tie a thread of love (basically a colorful bracelet) to their brothers. In return the brother pledges to take care of her and gives her a return gift. The gift is the physical acceptance of her love, reminder of their togetherness and a symbol of his pledge.

Speaking of siblings, my little sister Jean received her examination results for her AS-level (first year of A-levels) from England where they were graded. She received all A's in all her subjects, math, chemistry, physics and art. Wow! My sister is a genius. A-levels are really hard and for her to achieve such great marks is a wonderful accomplishment. :)

up to the emerald green lake!

This weekend took me to another beautiful place called Nainital, a town by the Nain Lake up in the Himalayan necklace. Along with 4 other AIESEC trainees from the other apartments, we took a sleeper train from Delhi. We almost missed the train, which was an adventure itself. Leaving from one of the apartments, none of the autos wanted to take us to the train station, which was all the way up in north Delhi for a reasonable price. So being the smart trainees that we thought we were, we decided to take an auto to Connaught Place which is the center of New Delhi, and from there we take the Metro to the train station. Well the plan sounded good when formulated, but we did not take into account that 1) the metro closed at 10.30pm, 2) the metro did not come every 3 mins as scheduled, 3) using the metro required lots of stairs and tunnels, which meant lots of RUNNING and 4) the platform to our train in the train station was the furthest from the entrance. After much running, panting, swearing and biting of the nails, I hopped on the train a minute before it left Delhi.

10 hours later we arrived at a town Kathgodam at the foot of the mountains, and we took a van up to Nainatal. Legend goes that the Nain (eye) lake (tal)was created when the left eye of Goddess Sita fell when Lord Shiva was carrying her dead body in grief. The left eye formed the emerald eye shaped lake, which is surrounded by forrested hills, where colorful buildings have been built on, in addition to a spiderweb of tracks to go trekking up and around the mountains. It was just lovely, being up in the cool mountains and by the lake. Clouds would periodically pass through and cover the whole town and lake. Sitting on the balcony of our hotel, I would watch the white mist take over the view in front of me.

My friends and I had a grand time there. We took a lovely boat ride around the lake, then we visited the Nainital Zoo up high on one of the mountains, which required lots of walking up, down and around steep slopes. We also took a cable car up to the Snow View, the peak of that mountain. The views from up high were just breathtaking. From there, we trekked to another peak. At first, we thought we were following a trail that was already made, but the further we went, the more forested it got and the more we had to forge our own paths through the bushes, trees and steep mountain. It was quite a work out I must say, but when we all finally reached the top, it felt pretty good to have trekked so far up.

This weekend, I really enjoyed the company of the other trainees, especially since everybody spoke English very well and we could all connect at the same wavelength. All of us were from all around the world (Spain, Malta, Holland, India and Malaysia), having a variety of experience and were at very different places in our lives. We discovered that within the five of us, we could speak 10 other languages besides English (two foreign languages each). I love traveling with different people in every weekend trip because I learn so much about other values, cultures and countries, and simultaneously my own beliefs get challenged.

Good driving

3 things necessary in order to survive driving around in Delhi:

1. Good brakes
2. Good horn
3. Good luck

my favorite weekend trip!

This past weekend, I travelled to Rishikesh and Haridwar, two neighboring cities that on the banks of where the Ganges River emerges from the Himalayas. From Delhi, my roommates and I took a government bus, and we arrived in Rishikesh 7 hours later.

Rishikesh is known as the Yoga Capital of the World, with its masses of ashrams (spiritual community) and all kinds of yoga classes. The town, surrounded by forested hills and on the bank of the Ganges, creates an enviroment perfect for meditation, yoga and relaxation. I mean, the Beatles stayed there for a month in an ashram, writing songs, many of which were on their album, the White Album. So I had to check this place out before leaving India.

In Rishikesh, my Chinese girls and I took a Yoga class on the rooftop of our hotel. The view from there was just breathtaking (check out the photo above).

Later, we also got a full body ayurvedic massage, which was very relaxing. The rest of the day was spent exploring Rishikesh in the large community of Swarg Ashram, made up of temples, ashrams, shops, and the ghats where religions ceremonies are performed at sunrise and sunset. As I walked along the Ganges, we watched as people bathed in the river at the ghats and sat around relaxing. The people were really friendly there and I wasn't hassled like I usually am when I'm off traveling, which really suprised me. We also mingled with some of the people there, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

After exploring Rishikesh, we traveled to Haridwar, a holy Hindu city where people from all over India flock all year to bathe in the Ganges. Dotted around the city are impressive temples and ashrams, some as big as villages. Walking around Haridwar was an amazing experience, just seeing the massive amounts of half-naked people running around and jumping into the river. There was just so much excitement and energy everywhere. My only regret is that we couldn't stay there longer to watch as hundreds of worshippers gather for the river worship ceremony every evening. Supposedly it is an incredible experience to watch as the sun sets, bells ring out a rhythm, torches are lit, leaf baskets with flower petals inside and a candle on top are lit and put on the river to drift away downstream. I will have to return soon to watch this ceremony.

The trip in the end was just fabulous, probably my favorite trip in India thus far.

For more photos from this weekend, check out my online album: http://community.webshots.com/user/lynnkee

I'm HIV positive?

So having finished making the draft to the speech that my boss will be giving in a few weeks at the AIDS International Conference in Toronto, I am back to conducting patient interviews in Ashraya. Conducting interviews with my patients can bring about a mix of emotions.

Recently I interviewed a patient, who was admitted a week ago, who didn't even know she was HIV positive, let alone know what HIV or AIDS are. How do you explain to somebody who doesn't know what a virus is, what HIV is? How do you even explain what a virus is? Many of my patients never completed school. It is a rather challenging experience to have to explain HIV and AIDS to the patients, when they can't comprehend and remember the words that make up HIV and AIDS. My patient was explained the modes of HIV transmission, and then questioned five minutes later what the modes were, and she couldn't recall what she had just been told.

Then I interviewed a patient with a CD4 count of 2 (which is so low) who believed God gave her HIV. She said, "If God did not give it to me, then who did?" I have found that many of these rural people with HIV/AIDS think that is the will of God that they have this disease. Only when counseled do some of them realise this is not so.

Last Friday, I interviewed another patient who thought that having HIV meant constant diarrhea and urination. When she was first given ARV medications, she would secretly throw them away in the rubbish bin. We disccovered a few days later she wasn't taking her meds, and finally convinced her that if she didn't take them she wouldn't get better.

Then today, I interviewed a HIV/AIDS patient who knew he was HIV positive, but did not understand what it meant to be HIV positive. He thought he was just "sick", and had no idea how serious the implications were to being a HIV/AIDS patient. It took several hours to explain to him everything he needed to know. Hopefully he remembers what he was told.

In reviewing my patients' medical files and learning about their history, I have found that many of our patients are frequent patients of our care home. They come here seeking treatment when they are in a serious condition, stay in our care home for awhile receiving good treatment and care for free, then return home to their village, only to come back in conditions that are sometimes worse than before.

I am really glad that I am interviewing these patients and helping them understand their condition. However it can be frustrating that they are uneducated and have a hard time comprehending what they are being told about HIV and AIDS. It makes me sad but the reality is that there are so many people out there who are just like my patients in their thinking and mental capabilties.

Some random things

1. So I read in the news that England has imported India's infamous auto-rickshaws to Brighton, England's most famous seaside city! Instead of the trademark yellow-green colors of the Delhi autos, the British autos are painted with the red, white and blue British flag. The dude who imported these autos is looking to have heated blankets and hot water bags installed in the autos too. I personally think it quite a brilliant idea to import the autos from India, although it would be hilarious if the rest of the world started using autos too.

2. I realised riding the buses in Delhi is quite a balancing act. When standing in the bus, hanging on to dear life to the pole on the wall or to the bar on the seats, one must learn the art to staying upright. That's right, there's actually an art to it. With the traffic being so terrible, everytime the bus driver brakes, which is very often, and the bus lurches forward and backwards, i have to lean on one leg with enough pressure that i dont go falling forward, then i have to quickly put the right amount of pressure on the other leg so that i dont go falling the backwards in the other direction. I have become quite an expert now after riding the buses everyday for 2-3 hours. The balancing comes unconsciously now, when before I would always be bumping into the person in front or behind me. I should try surfing; heard you need good balance for that. Hah.

3. Apparently I look like I'm worth 2000 rupees. That's about US$40. Last night, while walking home from the internet cafe, a car stopped on the road next to me and the Indian dude stuck his head out of his window and offered me 2000 rupees. I don't know if 2000 rupees is above or below the standard rate, but I've heard it depends on where you "stand". Anyhow, this is the third time actually that I've been taking for what they call here, a commercial sex worker, ie a prostitute, and it is really getting ridiculous.

4. So not only am I trying to be bought, I had people yelling out names to me. Tonight just outside my apartment, I walked past a car with three young Indian men inside. They yelled out, "CHINCKY!! CHINCKY!" Now, Chincky is a term that Chinese-looking people are called. It annoyed me that they would just call me names just as I walked past them. So without thinking twice, I turned around, walked right over to the car, stood in front of their open windows and yelled back at them, "Don't you dare call me or anybody else Chincky like that! You think it's funny? Well it's not, it's so disrespectful and rude!" I stared them down real hard, and they looked so taken aback and ashamed. They apologized, "Sorry Madam, sorry." I turned around walked off with my Nigerian roommate Akin.

5. So I read in the newspaper that California is experiencing a severe heat wave at 38 degrees celcius. People have died, electricity has been cut, and they are supposedly really suffering there in Cali. Hah, imagine being in India where temperatures in the summer are usually above 40 degrees celcius, and power and water cuts are relatively frequent. This week alone, we'd had no water for 3 consecutive nights. Recently though Delhi has been experience some serious rainfalls. It's nice that the weather has cooled a bit, but walking through mud and flooded water and getting sprayed by dirty water from cars passing by is the fun trade-off.

6. Wednesday nights have become the AIESEC Delhi Trainee weekly night out. Take 20-30 foreigners from the different apartments all around Delhi, put them in a bar or a club together, albeit terrible music, its always a good time.

7. So one of my HIV/AIDS patients has been asking me for one of my favorite hoop earrings. I finally gave it to him today. He was pretty excited to receive it, and immediately put it on his ear. Later that day, he tried to give it back to me, I think because somebody else told him off for taking it from me. I tried to tell him to keep it, but he wanted me to put it back on. There is a risk of contacting the virus from him, had his blood somehow gotten onto his earring, so I did not want to put it back on my ear. At the same time though, I did not want to him to feel bad that I didn't want to wear it again because of his HIV positive status. Finally, after much coaxing, I convinced him to keep it, and now everyday he proudly wears my pink and silver hoop earring around.

where its cold in india

Along with 8 other trainees, I escaped Delhi and went on another traveling adventure this past weekend to Shimla. Shimla is a hill station up in the mountains that lead towards the Himalayas, and has a rather chaotic appearance of a temporarily arrested landslide of colorful buildings cascading down the hills. Once inside Shimla though, it felt like I was having a taste of Old England, with the buildings and streets giving off that crumbling colonial charm. Although having monkeys scampering around all over the town brought me back to the reality that I was in India.

Speaking of monkeys, my friend Daniela had the most unfortunate experience. At the Jakhu Temple, which was dedicated to the Monkey God Hanuman, 3 monkeys jumped onto Daniela and one actually bit her thigh. This incident led us on a 3 hour search for proper treatment for her bite. The first doctor told her that she could not contact rabies from a monkey. What bullshit. Then a chemist suggested some meds for her that did not have any sort of information details. Like we were going to buy those meds without any sort of knowledge. We finally found a doctor who had rabies and tetanus vaccines that were both not expired and from a reputable drug company in India. Had we'd been in a medically advanced country like Japan or America we would not have to worry about sterile needles, quality vaccines, a professional doctor and in general proper treatment. But here, we could not trust anything or anybody.

Throughout the weekend, I must have climbed what felt like a million of steps as I explored the center of the town, the numerous alleyways and lively bazaars that zigzag up and down the hills. We also trekked for hours, and the greenery was a definite nice change of scenery from what I get in Delhi.

I definitely enjoyed the cool weather of Shimla. This summer I have come to a new-found appreciation for colder temperatures. Although when I get back to the Michigan winters, there is no doubt I will be complaining bitterly of the cold.

Stepping up to the challenge

My traineeship has been going well thus far. The chairperson of Ashraya, Madam Nafisa Ali, will be giving a presentation and speech at this year's International AIDS Conference in Toronto next month. Her topic is "The Response to HIV/AIDS in India" and she has given me the task of writing the speech and putting together the presentation. It is a rather daunting challenge - but one that I am willing to take. I would never have imagined that I would be in this position right now, writing an important speech that will hopefully encompass and represent accurately the HIV/AIDS situation in India. And to think many very important people from UNAIDS, the Global Fund, Ministries of Health, and all over the world will be there too. Well then, I best get onto writing then...

A Full House

My apartment is now a full house. We have: 1 German guy Sascha, 1 Japanese girl Mari and myself who have been here for awhile and our recent additions, the 2 Chinese girls Ruby and Grace, 1 Nigerian guy Akin and 1 Turkish girl Merve who just arrived yesterday. So far the dynamics of the apartment are great :)

I was just thinking yesterday, while we were experiencing a power cut at our flat for the whole of last night, how living in India has made me so much more grateful for the following things:

1. Running water - Our flat has a tendency to run out of running water from time to time. It is terrible not being able to shower, flush the toilets or wash your hands for a few days.
2. Electricity - Again, our flat has been experiencing many power cuts for several hours. Imagine having no lights or working fans. It is unbearable to sleep without a fan, like I did last night.
3. Functional fridge - Our small old fridge just stopped working 2 weeks ago. After much persistent pestering, I finally got the AIESEC Delhi to get somebody to come and pick it up yesterday. Hopefully we will get our functional fridge back today.
4. Clothes washer and dryer - We don't have one in our flat. I have resorted to hand washing my clothes using a bucket of water and detergent, and drying them off in my room.
5. Proper drainage systems - Our kitchen sink was clogged when I arrrived at the flat, and only last week did it finally get fixed after I persistently nagged at AIESEC to order a plumber to come fix it.
6. Clean, drinking water - Here the only water we can drink is bottled water. Even drinking from a bottle must be done carefully without your lips touching the bottle because you never know how dirty the bottle is because they recycle them.
7. Toilet paper - Bathrooms in India do not come equipped with TP because here the custom to wash down there after doing your thing is using water from a bucket or jet spray/hose.
8. Proper roads and sidewalks - Most of the time there are no sidewalks and half the roads need to be redone.
9. Cool weather - I love warm weather, but honestly Delhi is rather too hot.
10. People who follow through on what they say - I have found that you cannot rely on anybody to follow through on what they say. 99% it will not get done when it is supposed to get done. Much nagging, bargaining, perstering has to be implemented to get people to do as they say when they say they will do it. I am not sure why it is as such, but that has been my experience here.